(I came across the following Story today, and it says so much I had thought about in different ways. I’m glad others have a better time of words than I do. *Smiles*)
Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; “Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter.
A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, “Tell me what do you see?”
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.
After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. “What’s the point,grandmother?”
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity–boiling water–but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter.
“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
. . .For when I am weak, then am I strong.
see – 2 Corinthians 12:10
I have made it to my travel destination and am currently in my third week of getting settled. It’s as I knew it would be, and so much more when it comes down to it. I am thankful that I am able to talk to my children nearly everyday. There have been but a small handful of days I have not heard their voices or seen their faces. Skype has been a God-send. I have smiled more with this move, I have so much to hope for than the endless amount of worry that weighed me down before. That is not to say I do not worry, just that I am given little chance to. It has rained almost non-stop since I’ve been here in Alaska. I still smile. I have cried when I slowed down enough to wish I had my children’s arms around me, but then I see them playing and hear their cheerful voices and know that they are okay. They are healthy, they are happy, they tell me everyday they love me and when I see their smile when we talk, it makes everything okay for Mommy too.
While this is hard being away from them, I can feel the positive energy moving. Things are finally being done. Their father has taken steps to start fixing the house as he had been promising, mostly because of a push of some in-laws, which they in themselves are God-sends, in my opinion. Goob got a new bed, the living room floor is being repaired, the children are getting to make new friends at Daycare, my son is getting good marks in his Kindergarten. There have been times I have paused to think ‘Are they better because I’m not there?’ as in ‘Was I bad for them?’ And there are times I think that is true, but it is mostly my fears and whats left of the self doubt that I had before I changed my situation. When they smile, and say how much they miss me, I -know- I am good for them. My leaving has been good to, no matter what pain it brings me.
Their father is being the father I know he can be, and he is showing the effort, pulling himself up. He has support of loved ones, and myself, of course from a distance, but it is okay. It’s not the terrible end I thought might follow. Of course it has only been a few weeks since I hugged them with a promise I would see them for Christmas. Its a bitter happiness I find in the change that has been made. But for both sides of the affected, there is now room to grow. Like pruning a bush so it may bud or grow properly. It is like the coffee, making the best of a bad situation in hopes of spreading a well caffeinated joy instead of callousing my interior and wilting the hopes of those around me. It’s a fresh feeling. It is still scary, I’m not sure exactly how to explain it.
I thank the Lord for the chance, and Pray he watch over loved ones as we continue to move forward, and I pray he wills me the courage to continue. We only live once. We can not remake our yesterdays. It’s nice to have some elbow room and take a breath with out worrying whether or not it was out of place. I look forward to seeing and helping my children grown and I am looking forward to seeing myself grow as a person, in faith, family, as a mother, and an example to my little ones.
All my love,